These are some of the voices who appeared on the Goon Show from time to time. This isn’t a full list, all these people appeared more than once.
Valentine Dyall (1908-1985)
Dyall was a supporting actor in many stage, film, radio, and television shows, known for his gaunt appearance and deep, sinister voice. His most famous role was “The Man in Black”, the sepulchral-voiced narrator of the radio thriller series An Appointment with Fear, which ran from 1941 until 1955. He brought his sinister voice to ten episodes of the Goon Show. It’s reported that, at one point, Spike wanted to have him as a regular cast member, but the BBC purse-keepers wouldn’t allow him the budget.
BLUEBOTTLE: I don’t like this man.
SEAGOON: I don’t like him, either.
ECCLES: I don’t like him, too.
DYALL: How do you think I feel!? I happen to be him!
George Chisholm OBE (1915-1997)
George Chisholm was an accomplished Scottish jazz musician who played trombone and various other instruments who played in many bands and orchestras, and went on to be a bit-part player in film and television comedy in the 1960s and 1970s. In the Goon Show, he was a member of Wally Stott’s orchestra who took the occasional speaking part in a Glasgow-type Scottish language. In particular, he played a larger part in episode 7/4 The Macreekie Rising, while Spike Milligan was absent.
McCHISHOLM: Lads, hear me, the noo. I, Chisholm McChisholm of the MacShowband, bring grave Mac news. Mac Scotland is in Mac peril.
John Derrick Mordaunt Snagge, OBE (1904-1996)
John Snagge was a BBC announcer but, more than that, he was basically the line manager of the announcers at the BBC, who did much of the administration as well as being the announcer at selected events. He was particularly known as the voice of the Oxford/Cambridge Boat race, which he commentated on for fifty years. He was a great supporter of the Goon Show, often pre-recording passages for the show and once, in The Greenslade Story, appearing live. Having Snagge as a supporter among BBC management was very important to the Goons, particularly when some would happily have cancelled the show.
SEAGOON: Not so fast, Mr. John “Boatrace” Snagge!
SNAGGE: That voice came out of a little ball of fat that sprang from behind a piano stool.
SEAGOON: My name is Neddie Seagoon!
SNAGGE: What a memory you have.
SEAGOON: Not so fast!
SNAGGE: I said it as slowly as possible.
Richard Gilbert ‘Dick’ Emery (1915-1983)
Like several others who featured in the Goon Show, Dick Emery’s first experience in entertainment came during World War II, and he emerged from it looking to make a career in show business. He worked up through radio, TV and film, reaching the top with his hugely popular ‘Dick Emery Show’ TV series from the 1960s to the 1980s. Dick appeared in a number of Goon Shows in series 3, when he took Spike Milligan’s place while Spike was ill. He also appeared in 8/1 Spon, covering for an absent Harry Secombe.
EMERY: Just as I thought! Goodbye! Tally-ho! Yoiks! Hay- ho, Silver, and a blinding flash! A white horse and a cry of, ‘Hay-ho, Silver’, and the Lone Ranger is on the trail of… SPON!
Graham Stark (1922-2013)
Along with Dick Emery, Graham Stark appeared on alternating weeks in Series 3 of the Goon Show, substituting for Spike Milligan. Also, he was one of several actors who took Peter Sellers parts in Goon Show 9/11 Who Is Pink Oboe? He was best known as a movie actor and, being a close associate of Peter Sellers, he had appearances in the Pink Panther films among his wide range of credits.
STARK: Hooray for war! A-ha, ha! Hooray for war! A-ha, ha!
DYALL: I think we’re going to have trouble with him, too, Sir.
Charlotte Mitchell (1927-2012)
When a female voice was required on a Goon Show, usually Peter Sellers stepped up to the microphone as he had several in his repertoire. On two occasions however, Charlotte Mitchell, an all-round character actress and poet as well as a friend of Peter Sellers, found herself in the cast. This was back in the days when many men had a “women can’t be funny” bias. She proved them wrong with superb performances in both 5/14 Ye Bandit of Sherwood Forest, and 6/18 Tales of Montmartre.
FIFI: Come, darling, kiss me. Time is so short and so are you. I am Fifi, I’ve come to help you. I am a model.
TOULOUSE (Seagoon): Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) Well, you can disrobe behind those screens.
FIFI: For three weeks I posed for Toulouse. Ohhh, how I posed.
TOULOUSE: That’s enough for today, Fifi. The light’s failing and my eyes are hurting.
FIFI: But Toulouse, when are you going to start painting me?
Charlotte Mitchell interview
Kenneth Connor, MBE (1916-1993)
Best known as a stalwart of the ‘Carry On’ film franchise, Connor was a popular radio, TV and film Actor. He appeared with others, substituting for Peter Sellers in 9/11 Who Is Pink Oboe?, and also came in for Harry Secombe in show 9/17 The £50 Cure.
GRAMS: DEAD MARCH FROM ‘HAMLET’: SOLEMN TREAD OF FUNERAL CORTEGE WAILS OF PROFESSIONAL JEWISH MOURNERS IN THE BACKGROUND.
CONNOR: By Jove. It’s a merry singing funeral. Ha, ha, ha! Ah, don’t take it so hard, folks. It’s only a trial one for Eccles. And now, for an encore, I’ll sing a little song entitled ‘Looking through the knot-hole in Grandma’s wooden leg’. Maestro, please, thank you. (SINGS) ‘Long, long ago in the wilds of Australia…’
Jack Train (1902-1966)
Train was a radio comedy actor, famous for his appearances on Tommy Handley’s show ITMA (It’s That man Again) of the 1940s. He brought his best known character, the dipsomaniac army officer Colonel Chinstrap, with his catchphrase ‘I don’t mind if I do’ to Goon Show 7/17 Shifting Sands, and, with the others, 9/11 Who Is Pink Oboe?
Col. Chinstrap: Anything happen during the night?
Bloodnok: Well Humphrey, the fort was attacked by fifteen thousand tribesmen, but they were driven off by a frenzied shrieking figure waving a whisky bottle.
Chinstrap: Good heavens. Who was it?
Bloodnok: You sir!
Baron James Bernard Miles (1907-1991)
Miles was an actor, stage director, and was founder of the Mermaid Theatre. His distinctive voice and association with “avast ye hearties” and “arr Jim lad”-type roles is the reason behind the exclamations of “Bernard Miles off the starboard bow” in Goon nautical scenes. Miles’ voice was imitated many times in the Goon Show, but he only actually appeared once, in 7/16 The Rent Collectors.
BAILIFF: Silence! Silence in cow-shed. The Court will stand for his worship, the Lord Chief Magistrate of Little Filthmuck.
BERNARD MILES: Hello, me old dears. Now then, is everybody nice and comfortable?
SEAGOON: I’m not!
MILES: Nobody’s worried about you. Now, I declare that I will try the prisoner fairly and that I am entirely unbiased one way or the other, right?
BAILIFF: Right, sir!
MILES: Good! Now, Tom. Just run across the road and get some good, strong rope.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 