Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan, with John Snagge (pre-recorded)
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: John Browell
Recorded: Sunday 3 January 1960
First Broadcast : Thursday 7 January 1960 on the BBC Home Service
The show starts with the introduction of ‘fon’, a new word. Moriarty and Grytpype visit Ned and inform him that he wasn’t born in Wales. He was born astride the border of China and British India, and thus his legs are Chinese. He pays Grytpype for a passport for his legs and in the meantime walks about on his hands. Ned visits Bloodnok, the Registrar of Military Leg Certificates on the British India frontier, to solve the mystery of his legs’ nationality. There, his legs are arrested and imprisoned by the British Leg Police. The Chinese, having discovered that a pair of Chinese legs is in a British prison, pay Grytpype to capture them and bring them back to China. Grytpype and Moriarty unscrew Ned’s legs and escape with them. The situation of Ned’s legs is debated in the United Nations by Min, Henry, and Old Uncle Oscar. The great World War III for Ned’s legs ensues. Bloodnok and the Chinese make Ned ever-escalating offers for possession of his legs. Finally, by moving the furniture around, Ned is able to turn the tables on the Chinese.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 