Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Eric Sykes and Spike Milligan
Producer: Peter Eton
Recorded: Sunday 19 December 1954
First Broadcast : Tuesday 21 December 1954 on the BBC Home Service
Ned Seagoon goes for a walk in the thick London fog and gets lost. He ends up in Minnie Bannister’s kitchen and then encounters Bluebottle, who asks directions to the BBC, but ends up falling in the water due to the fog. Lost again, Seagoon ends up at Number Ten instead of Brixton. A special sitting of Parliament is called to determine what to do about the fog. Seagoon is appointed Fog And Thick Smog Officer (FATSO) and, with his assistant, Eccles, starts research to eliminate fog. He is visited in his laboratory by the statue of Admiral Horatio Nelson from the Column in Trafalgar square, who explains that the statues of London need fog, as it is their only opportunity to move around and see the sights. Seagoon refuses to stop his experiments. The word passes from Nelson to the other London statues: Achilles, Eros, and Gladstone, who informs his girlfriend, Boadicea. The fog clears and Gladstone ends up holding the reins in Boadicea’s chariot for the next three days. Seagoon requests that Major Bloodnok put a military guard on the statue of Nelson, and Bloodnok, seeing a way to work his ticket, agrees. Nelson sneaks through on his hands and knees and visits Seagoon, who apprehends Nelson, and chains him to the column. Eccles can’t see who Seagoon is talking to. Greenslade reports the next day that a government-sponsored scientist was helped down from Nelson’s Column, where he had chained himself to the statue of Nelson. The fog disappears and Seagoon basks in the accolades of a cheering crowd, although Eccles can’t see or hear anyone. The fog returns, but Seagoon discovers it is actually Forog – foreign fog – manufactured in foreign parts and brought to London by the statues. He tells Parliament this, and they have him committed to the care of Doctors Eidelburger and Moriarty. Moriarty informs Seagoon that the Forog is ordinary fog, the War Office has no record of anyone named Major Bloodnok, his alleged laboratory is an old bomb site, and there is no such person as Ned Seagoon.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 