Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: Peter Eton
Recorded: Sunday 22 January 1956
First Broadcast: Tuesday 24 January 1956 on the BBC Home Service
The show opens with a Parliamentary investigation into why a semi-circular settee for the new residence of the High Commissioner in Colombo cost £420. Eccles, the Minister of Works, resigns. Ned Seagoon, strolling Prime Minister of no fixed address, vows to teach those concerned a severe lesson and orders the building to be torn down and a new one put up at the proper price. Seagoon returns home from a cabinet meeting with a set of secret plans for a jet-propelled guided NAAFI that can be launched to anywhere in the world and set up in sixteen seconds. To prove the feasibility, he has the first guided NAAFI launched to Malaya. Six seconds later the NAAFI manager phones to tell him that the tea is ready. Grytpype-Thynne, Seagoon’s butler, tricks Neddie into letting him photograph the plans. He gives the photograph to the spy Moriarty and instructs him to leave the country. The NAAFI manager phones Seagoon asking if they should throw the 10,000 cups of tea away. Seagoon arranges to fly 10,000 troops to Malaya to drink the tea. The tea must not be wasted – the watchword is economy! Moriarty and Grytpype stow away on one of the planes bound for Malaya. They plan to make their way to Moscow from there. Moriarty visits the commander of the troops, Major Bloodnok, and bribes him into helping with the scheme to destroy the guided NAAFI. He hands Bloodnok a parcel of exploding sausages to be given to the guided NAAFI manager. This plan having been laid, Grytpype and Moriarty leave for Moscow. Bloodnok hands the parcel of sausages to Eccles, the Minister of Food, before he deserts. Eccles gives them to Bluebottle, the NAAFI manager, who puts them in the refrigerator for safekeeping. Grytpype and Moriarty end up back at the NAAFI after following the compass that Moriarty got from a cheap Christmas cracker. They hide the plans by wrapping them around the sausages in the refrigerator. Bluebottle removes the sausages, starts to fry them, and they explode. The plans destroyed, the villains have no recourse except to launch the guided NAAFI and fly it to Moscow. They do so, but again the cheap Christmas cracker compass foils their plans. To their delight, the lucky natives of Aldershot find a fully-operational £3,000,000 NAAFI in their midst.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 