Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Bruce Campbell
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: Peter Eton
Recorded: Sunday 5 February 1956
First Broadcast: Tuesday 7 February 1956 on the BBC Home Service
Neddie Seagoon, Governor of Dartmoor Prison, faces the prospect of being fired because there are no convicts left in the prison. Grytpype and Moriarty offer to supply convicts at the rate of 3 shillings per head per day. Since the government pays Neddie 5 shillings, he stands to make a net profit of 2 shillings per head per day, so he agrees to the scheme. The prison is soon completely full of fugitives from justice. Grytpype persuades Neddie to allow the prisoners a holiday in the South of France. Leaving a cardboard replica of Dartmoor behind, they sail the prison to the Château d’If, where guest arrangements have been made. En route they discover Bloodnok has stowed away. Bloodnok, Grytpype, and Moriarty are all anxious to gain entry to the Château d’If because it contains a clue to the location of the treasure of the Count of Monte Cristo. On arrival they dismantle the Dartmoor, wrap the bricks in brown paper, and carry it onto the Château d’If. Grytpype and Moriarty find the clue in the dungeons. A gramophone recording instructs them to reassemble the prison they’ll find wrapped in brown paper parcels. The treasure is buried under cell 626. At this point they discover from Eccles and Bluebottle that Bloodnok has beaten them to it—he’s sailed off in the Dartmoor Prison. They pursue in the Château d’If. Bloodnok fires Christmas puddings at them and they retaliate by firing first roast turkey and then Eccles. Bloodnok fires Eccles back. The d’If catches up and a party boards the Dartmoor. Grytpype and Moriarty dig in the floor of cell 626 and strike the Atlantic Ocean, sinking Dartmoor Prison. And that is why the Dartmoor Prison we know today is only a cardboard replica.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 