Starring: Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens
Producer: Pat Dixon
Recorded: Sunday 23 December 1956
First Broadcast: Thursday 3 January 1957 on the BBC Home Service
Neddie ‘Bulldog’ Seagoon is reminiscing with his companion, Algernoon. He is summoned by Grytpype, the Foreign Secretary to solve the mysterious disappearance of 25 million Englishmen. There is such a shortage that English women are paying £50 apiece for Englishmen. As soon as Seagoon leaves, Grytpype sends a letter to the Emperor of the Universe, informing him that the disappearing Englishmen have caused the Government to become suspicious, but not to worry because he’s put a right charlie on the job. Seagoon visits Henry Crun, whose Irish cook, Ellington, has turned into a Chinaman after eating a Chinese egg. X-raying another such egg shows that it contains yellow grease paint and a pigtail – anyone eating it will become a Chinaman. Seagoon, Eccles, and Bluebottle take a tram to Peking. Once there, they visit the egg factory, where they find Bloodnok and 25 million Chinese in bowler hats, carrying rolled umbrellas and copies of The Times. Our heroes (and Bloodnok) are trapped in a room that is then flooded. They turn the room upside down to empty it. Grytpype and Moriarty enter, but since they’re on the ceiling they fall upwards to the floor. Grytpype turns out to be the fiendish Emperor of the Universe. He’s apprehended, and the Chinese are turned back into Englishmen by feeding them Brown Windsor Soup.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 