Starring: Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens
Producer: Pat Dixon
Recorded: Sunday 3 February 1957
First Broadcast: Thursday 7 February 1957 on the BBC Home Service
Inspector Ned Seagoon is investigating a mystery. A man driving a leather omnibus and wearing a masked boxing glove is punching people up the conk. Ned visits Min and Henry, the only leather omnibus manufacturers, and finds that they sold only one. But they don’t know who it was sold to – the buyer punched Mr. Crun up the conk. There is a second mystery afoot. The long-lost heir to the Spon fortune of £40,000 is missing, but he’s known to have a habit of leaping off of leather omnibuses and punching people up the conk. Grytpype and Moriarty put an ad in The Times for Moriarty Nose Protectors. A few more punch-up-the-conk attacks and the orders will start rolling in. The entire London police force is fitted with Moriarty nose protectors. The police discover a leather omnibus, grievously injured. The mysterious punch-up-the-conker is immobilised and there is only one place he can get a new leather omnibus. Meanwhile, Bloodnok hears of the unclaimed Spon fortune and sets off for Crun’s factory. But Eccles and Bluebottle are on watch at the factory to apprehend the mysterious assailant. They perforrm the ‘time writted on a piece of paper’ routine. When Bloodnok leaves the factory driving a leather omnibus, he’s arrested as the mysterious up-the-conk-puncher. Grytpype and Moriarty are knighted for their nose protectors.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 