Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens
Producer: Pat Dixon
Recorded: Sunday 14 October 1956
First Broadcast: Thursday 18 October 1956 on the BBC Home Service
The year is 1656 in Ninfield, Sussex. Grytpype and Moriarty arrive at the stately home of Lord Neddie Seagoon, seeking shelter for the night. As he shows them to their room, Neddie notices that the seats of their trousers were burned out – the sign of the dreaded Nadger Plague. Neddie flees screaming and calls a meeting of the villagers. As Dr. Crun explains, the Nadger Plague strikes only the seat of the trousers, and as a precaution, the men of Ninfield must desist from wearing any. Instead, it’s agreed that as the seat of the trousers is the vulnerable part, it shall be cut out. Meanwhile, Grytpype and Moriarty are gloating over the four pounds seven shillings in coppers in the chest that they stole from Lord Seagoon’s mansion. They had burnt fake Nadger holes in their trousers to scare off Seagoon. They hear the town crier, Eccles, announcing that Ninfield has been quarantined and a cordon of grenadiers shall surround the town. Moriarty and Grytpype trick their way past one of the guards, Bluebottle, and flee. Seagoon sets off in pursuit and discovers Bluebottle sleeping on guard with a gas stove next to him. But it isn’t a gas stove – it’s Eccles who, having no trousers, couldn’t avoid the Plague by having the seat cut out and instead took a witch’s magic potion that changed him into a gas stove, thus making him immune to the Plague. Neddie visits Mistress Bannister, the witch. He obtains the potion and also learns that the villains are on their way to the Green Sailor’s Inn. Grytpype and Moriarty arrive at the Inn and are shown to a room with a gas stove in the corner and a clock on the mantelpiece. As they count Seagoon’s fortune again, we learn that the clock is actually Neddie, who has drunk the witch’s potion. When Moriarty and Grytpype realise there is a talking clock in the room, they flee the witchery. Neddie asks Eccles to hand him the potion so he can change back, but Eccles can’t move – he’s a gas stove. And Neddie can’t hand him the potion so he can change back, as he’s a clock. To this day, 300 years later, there is a room at the Green Sailor’s Inn available to travellers complete with gas stove, clock, and four pounds seven shillings in coppers.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 