Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Larry Stephens
Producer: Roy Speer
Recorded: Sunday 8 December 1957
First Broadcast: Monday 9 December 1957 on the BBC Home Service
The Sultan of Dhurtistan has had to postpone his birthday celebrations because he’s been unable to find a volunteer to act as guest victim in the annual exploding ceremony. He offers £1000 for a genuine charlie in good condition. Grytpype and Moriarty steal postman Neddie Seagoon from the GPO, chloroform him, wrap him in a parcel, and ship him to Dhurtistan by registered post. In the Post Office, Minnie and Henry release Seagoon from the parcel. He’s unable to convince the Police Inspector that he’s Seagoon. He can’t be – Seagoon’s missing and he’s here. Grytpype phones the police to report that the missing postman Seagoon is aboard the steamship Venus. When Seagoon goes there to prove they’re lying, they persuade him to search a crate in the hold, nail the lid shut on top of him, and thus he discovers that they were right. On board ship Seagoon encounters Eccles, who is emigrating on account of his job—he’s a professional idiot and there’s too much competition in England. They escape by tunnelling down through the bottom of the ship. Seagoon visits Bloodnok, the Military Attaché in Dhurtistan, who must supply a dancing girl to the Sultan. He tricks Seagoon into getting into a crate marked “Dancing girl. This way up. Use no hooks”. In the Sultan’s harem, Ned finds Boy Scout Bluebottle, who is there to help an old Sultan across the harem as his good turn for the day, and Eccles, who has become a dancing girl (How did he do that? He took lessons.). The show ends with a big fight as they all think of various weapons.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 