Starring: Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan, with George Chisholm
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: John Browell
Recorded: Sunday 8 February 1959
First Broadcast : Monday 9 February 1959 on the BBC Home Service
It is 1878. Ned Seagoon runs a bridge-building company. The Scots are auditioning for a new Tay Bridge. Eccles, who has just finished the Forth Bridge (the first three fell down), is first. His plan is rejected. Next is Ned, who sings his plan for the new bridge across the Tay (where the cross-eyed haggis play). Moriarty is next and sings his plan to the tune of “Sur le Pont d’Avignon”. Ned wins the bridge-singing contest, but Grytpype and Moriarty sell him steel for the new bridge (the steel looks remarkably like Tower Bridge). Bloodnok and crew are blasting at the bridge site and succeed in blowing up Henry and Minnie. Lalkaka and Banerjee, shopping for a European-style bridge for Hindu Railways, Incorporated, show up. In their retinue is the Red Bladder, who recognises Bloodnok as the scoundrel who stole one of his 800 wives. Bluebottle and Eccles, demon bridge destroyers hired by Grytpype and Moriarty, blow up the bridge just as the first train is passing over it.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 