Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: Charles Chilton
Recorded: Sunday 16 March 1958
First UK Broadcast: Saturday 27 December 1986 on BBC Radio 4
Based on 4/30 The Siege of Fort Knight.
Fort Knight is under siege by Kurdish tribesmen, and more Kurds are on their way (Kurds and way – get it?). The fort has an ample food supply but no stove to cook it on. They’re forced to eat raw ample, which in a few weeks will cause them to be struck down with the dreaded knee lurgi. To make matters worse, the monsoons will leave the fort nine feet underwater. What’s needed is a waterproof underwater gas stove. Seagoon gets Henry to build one. The stove is assembled at the base camp in Africa, where it’s discovered that at Regulo 5 there’s a railway station inside. They get the stove past African customs by selling the stove to Customs Officer Ellinga for three elephant tusks and then buying it back off him (strange customs these Africans have!). To get past enemy lines to the fort they decide to travel by train. They set the Regulo to 5 and climb into the stove. Except for Eccles, who has to close the oven door from the outside and then bring it in after him. This of course means climbing through it while it’s shut and not opening it until he gets through. On arrival at the fort they discover that the journey’s all been in vain—there’s nobody there.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 