Starring Harry Secombe, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan
Producer: Roy Speer
Recorded: Sunday 29 December 1957
First UK Broadcast: Monday 8 December 2008 on BBC 7
Based on 4/22 The Great Ink Drought of 1902
There is a grave ink shortage. Moriarty convinces financial tycoon Sir Bernard Seagoon to try to corner the market on ink. But with no ink left in the world the shares are worthless. In return for 99% of the ink shares, Grytpype sells Seagoon ‘ink’ made by dissolving in water the negative of a photograph of a spoonful of ink powder. Ned now owns all the ink left in the world. The ink shortage has meant disaster for Crun’s blotting paper business. They set off on an expedition to drill ink wells in China. To prevent the new ink supply rendering their ink shares worthless, Ned and Moriarty plan to dynamite the ink field. Meanwhile, Crun’s exploratory wells have failed to locate any ink – the project is a dead loss. Crun sells his blotting paper shares to Eccles. When Seagoon sends Bluebottle off with the dynamite, he blows himself up, but he does strike ink. If Seagoon only had Crun’s blotting-paper shares, he’d be able to corner the market, fix the prices, and get a knighthood. He challenges Eccles to a game of draughts with the shares as a stake – and loses.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 