Starring: Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers, with George Chisholm
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Music by Max Geldray and The Ray Ellington Quartet
The Orchestra was conducted by Wally Stott
Script: Spike Milligan and Larry Stephens
Producer: Pat Dixon
Recorded: Sunday 21 October 1956
First Broadcast: Thursday 25 October 1956 on the BBC Home Service
Spike Milligan was absent due to ill health.
Captain Neddie Seagoon has captured the great hairy caber of the Clan MacReekie from the Scots and taken it to the Tower of London. Laird Red Hairy MacLegs lays siege to the tower. Major Bloodnok stores the caber in the Crown Jewels room, which is empty at the moment. The Jewels are perfectly safe – the pawn ticket’s under lock and key. Fred Nurke, who relieved Willium on guard duty, climbs into a cannon barrel to escape the rain and is accidentally fired at the Scots. In retaliation at the English firing Sassenachs at them, the Scots fire porridge. Seagoon returns fire with Brown Windsor Soup, cooked up by Minnie and poured into the cannon balls by Henry. But it’s no good – the soldiers in the Tower are slowly being driven mad by the noise of bagpipes. Grytpype and Moriarty arrive and try to sell Seagoon phoney earplugs. For once, the Neddie sees through the trick. The barrages of Brown Windsor Soup have badly stained the Scotsmen’s kilts. Disguised as a Chinaman, Seagoon persuades the Scots to give him their kilts, to be laundered. Corporal Bluebottle’s raiding party was less successful – his attempts to make the kilts fall down by sheer willpower resulted only in his trousers falling down. Bloodnok reports bad news – the Scots have stolen the ravens, and legend says that the Tower will surely fall if the ravens leave it. Seagoon capitulates and returns the caber to the Scots, asking only that the ravens be returned. But the Scots don’t have the ravens – Minnie has baked them into a pie.
The Goon Show Preservation Society 